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The four-What?
So, you’re probably wondering what I mean pillars. The pillar is an essential part of the structure – or, in our case, a person – that support and stability. Weak or missing pillars can cause it to become unstable, and eventually collapse.
every area of life, there are posts available to help successful if it agrees to them and is working hard to strengthen and balance all of them.
Let me give you some examples:
Think back to when in school. What are the best students will always have in common? They usually sat in the front row of the class, spent hours after school in the library studying and testing for a week in advance.
Do not try to just “get by.” Instead, he decided that the best students can be, there is always the hardest workers and he never took the easy way out.
How are the foundation of the sport? You have to practice and become highly trained physically, emotionally, and mentally. If an athlete will never be in great physical skills, but has been under a lot of pressure on their sport.
What makes Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan as good? It’s not just the physical skills. Instead, it’s the way they handled themselves mentally and emotionally difficult situations. They taught themselves year because he decided that the best athletes could also always the hardest, and never the easy way.
The pillars of weight loss? Anyone who has tried a special diet knows that it will not work in the long term – I want to believe any “Diet and Fitness expert” than otherwise. If you need to lose weight permanently eat better, not cardiovascular exercise and strength training.
Missing any will cause you to fail. You can work out eight hours a day, but if you eat more calories than you burn, you will not lose weight. So you need to decide once and for all that you get and stay healthy, work hard and never take the easy way out.
starting to see a pattern here? To be good at anything, you have to
o Decide whether you want to be great
o devotes itself to the time and effort
o Never cut corners, or look for the easy way
What does this do Parental ?
Parenting requires just as much work as anything else – and sometimes more. It should work just as hard as the best golfer or the smartest student. You can not expect to be easy. You have to constantly learn and put in the time to strengthen and balance the Four Pillars of Parenting. Only then will you understand what grandparents are.
so I can beat this into the ground enough? I have made it clear that since it requires great time and effort? That’s not going to be easy?
Let me explain each of the four pillars, so you know exactly what to do. All of these are equally important, and it’s not until you become balanced in all four areas, exploring the potential for leaning too hard will not cause you to crash.
Pillar 1: Prevent the sample
This pillar, known as the “Family of Origin “covers the history of the family, the family traditions you want to continue (or those that do not) and, most importantly, how your parents parented.
from all walks of life, can only do the things that you know. I can not expect you to do something you’ve never learned, and it can be very dangerous if you had parents who were negative, do not love you or abandoned you. If most of what you taught me was negative, most of what you teach your children to be negative, or – if this change.
But do not be too hard on the parents because the parents had the same chance against them, and so did their parents’ parents, and so on. This negative pattern of parenting that should prevent continued. You do not want to have children in the same negative experiences that you did.
Divorce, alcoholism and various types of abuse extreme examples of negative samples are taken down the generations. Yours may not be so extreme. Instead, maybe it was the lack of compassion, love, or love. Maybe your parents always expected too much out of you, and nothing I’ve ever been good enough. Whatever it is – if it’s painful or negative – must be stopped.
is not a problem with the children most of the family problems I deal with on a daily basis. Instead, parents are unmet needs in the past to project onto children either consciously (able to do) or unconsciously (do not realize that doing it). So, your parents parented it is something you have to deal with, because once you start to make peace with the past can become so emotionally available to children.
Most parents I’ve encountered skip this entirely. Post why? Since it can be difficult and sometimes painful issues. If parents are hurt emotionally or physically when they divorced when they were young, or if a different beliefs than they might be very difficult to go back and face. This is normal, but it can also be very dangerous. So you have to learn to accept the past and stop the negative parenting patterns before they can harm children.
Pillar 2: Conquer the culture
Times continue to change rapidly, and we need to understand what you face as a parent. There are more distractions, temptations and influences now than it was when you were a kid and you need to be aware of them.
Here are a few simple questions, the culture of the children live now see that “in-the-know” you really are. (See the bottom of the answers in this section.)
1. Who average teenager a day and a pop star by night?
2. What do you do when someone “hozakodik” is?
3. Who is Troy Bolton?
4. Who is Tom? And you are friends with him?
So how do you do it? Did you get all or most of them do not you? Hopefully you do, because these are the questions you should be able to respond if your kids are old enough to go to school, you have to your TV or computer. Because I guarantee that if you do not know these answers – they do.
Children are so many influences in today’s culture. Sex, drugs and violence are everywhere – the Internet, TV, films and video games – and we are all incredibly powerful young minds.
Do not let your children on the Internet without supervision? When should it be allowed to start watching PG-13 or R-rated movies? What TV channels are OK and which ones should be monitored or banned? These are some of the issues that must be addressed.
There will always be a new impact there – so you need to keep your culture, so stay prepared.
Replies:
1. Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana 2. Are you on Facebook. (What is Facebook? Do you need more help than I thought.) 3. He is the star of Disney’s High School Musical. co-founder Tom Myspace.com 4 225 916 857 and he is currently online friends – yes, that’s more than 225 million people and counting.
Pillar 3: Teach Tools
This is what we are constantly looking – something that can be used to secure the child-care problems. These tools are important and you need to learn as much as you can to just prepared for every situation that we face. But more importantly, you need to learn when and how to use these tools properly, because good parenting means worthless if used incorrectly.
For example, the various operations in different work situations. Timeouts may work for a particular child in a particular situation, but not the other kids either. Taking away privileges can works like a child, but not the other. And how long it take you? The day? One Week? All of these measures have already been shown to work if used correctly.
So you have to learn when to use what gets the best response to the child. You need a whole bag of tricks parents. It can not just be a one-trick pony parent. Sometimes you need to know the kids trick or treat. Too much? Yes, I thought so, but you get the point.
These devices around three main areas: advancement, discipline and punishment. (Discipline and punishment is not the same thing)
Strengthening: Tool to raise kids that can take care of themselves – physically, mentally, emotionally, mentally, sexual, economic, social and other words ending -ally.
Discipline: Tools to reinforce good behavior, stop the bad behavior and teach your child how to be honest and respectful.
Penalty: This is part of the discipline, but it is an area that can be very confusing. Thus, further details of the punishment effective techniques are used to stop the bad behavior is essential. Make sure that the “effective” because a lot of punishment techniques can be used may be ineffective and even reinforce the bad behavior.
Pillar 4: Cultivate Character
duty to the children and society to raise great kids character and values. It is your responsibility to raise them to a positive, happy and caring. The world is filled with so much anger, hatred and negativity, now that it will be difficult but we need to do. Because, as cliché as this may sound, you need to make the world a better place – one generation at a time.
How do you do that? It should be a good example and teach the kids how to do the right thing. Some examples:
o Teach your boys how to respect girls.
o Teach girls how to appreciate their bodies.
o volunteer time and money to the less fortunate.
o Grow spiritually and religiously.
Create child’s character is more important now than ever. The good news, however, that if you will follow the lead.
Why are not you a grandparent?
“It would be better, but I just do not have the time.”
“I want to learn to do everything, but I have not the money to buy all these books.”
“We try harder, but the kids do not listen to me anyway.”
he can come any excuse you want, but the only reason you’re not a parent has always dreamed of that is that
I decided not to.
It’s that simple. No matter what people are doing, or are in a situation – it will be a great parent, if you want it to be. It’s entirely up to you.
You have to commit to the building and balancing the Four Pillars of Parenting, and grow as a parent. Do not keep looking for new “revolutionary” ideas, because without a solid support around the “wonderful” new tool or technique will never succeed in the long run.
might not be as fashionable and interesting than some of the ideas there, but it works. Never feel “lost” as a parent. Then there is always a possibility, and these pillars give it.
So Are You Ready?
It is time to change – a real, lasting change in parenting. You have to decide now that you will never again look for an easy way and devotes itself to the hard work, learning and perfecting the Four Pillars of Parenting.
It should be 100% committed because it requires a lot of time and effort. It will not be easy – but nothing worthwhile ever is. This is not a quick fix to the problems, but it is the only way to lasting change.